New or Expecting Moms — Read This

I wanted this blog to provide both a good laugh and some REAL insight into not only my own mom life, but the lives of other moms as well. I decided to interview a few new/newer moms and see what they had to say about their experiences, certain “mom topics” and what advice they would give. I think new and expecting moms will appreciate what came of it…

1. What is your favorite and least favorite and least favorite thing about motherhood?

Michele: “I’m just going to cut to the chase and let you know that my least favorite thing about motherhood is the lack of sleep. I mean I didn’t know i could run off of this small amount of sleep until i became a mom. My favorite thing about motherhood would be everything else. Even the poopy diapers! Legit knowing hes pooping is knowing that he’s healthy and its one less thing to worry about. I genuinely told people (before finding the love of my life) that i was never having children. So i never saw myself becoming a mom. I never envisioned it. Now, i cant imagine NOT having babies!! ”

Linsey: “Favorite: watching a little human–who’s part me and part my husband–grow from a little bean into her own person. Least: lack of sleep.”

Amber D.: “Favorite thing: would be watching my son learn about himself and the world!! Being able to be a part of his life and to teach him along the way!!! Watching my step kids work hard for what they want after high school and going into high school! Watching them grow and mature into young adults.  The least favorite:  sleepless nights with my 1yr old and teething, lord help me with the teething lol!!  With my step kids, I could totally do without the attitudes and dramatic acts when they aren’t in good moods.  Teaching them that chores NEVER go away shouldn’t be this difficult lol, and I’m tired of being treated like I’m Satan bc I’m teaching them good cleaning habits for when they are on their own.”

(Starting to see a theme here expecting mommas? Sleep while you can!)

2. What is one thing you wish you knew before you became a mom? What is one thing you’re glad you didn’t know?

Amber C.: “One thing I wish I knew was that “me time” no longer exists. ”

Melissa: “I’m glad I knew other mom’s at the time that Maddie was born because becoming a parent is STRESSFUL.”

Amber D: “That no matter how “prepared” you THINK you are…. you aren’t and your kids will NOT follow the ideas and plans you and your husband dreamed up while they were in the belly or little kids.”

Michele: “I never read ONE parenting book. I never did any research on becoming a mom. I just went with the flow. Maybe the one thing i wish i would have known was how BAD the first time going to the bathroom is. Or how sex is DIFFERENT after experiencing vaginal birth. I think i should have also informed my husband how traumatizing being in the labor room would be. I had been in the room with my sister so i partially knew what to expect as a “guest”. He cant get the smell of that hospital room out of his system. LOL”

3. What is one “mom stereotype” you have found to be true/untrue since becoming mom?

Amanda: “That you become like your mother!! or another is that i try to do everything opposite of my mom and still end up being like her! Haha”

Nicole: “This isn’t true within myself but I’ve found that mom shaming is SUCH A REAL THING and its mean. ”

Linsey: “I’ve found the whole lose-yourself-in-motherhood, your child-becomes-your-top-priority, nothing-else-matters-not-even-showering to be pretty true **insert sweaty, laughing emoji*”

4. What is one thing you wish moms would stop being judged so harshly for?

Ashley: “Don’t judge when you see another mom and a [temper tantrum throwing] kid. We all know we have been there, not matter your kids personality. Whenever I can I always say something to a mom that is struggling and let her know that I have been right there in her position. ”

Amanda: “How they parent…it’s easy to do-I know I have. But there isn’t a one size fits all parenting style and every child is unique so what works for one mama may not work for another. Sometimes we have to just pat each other on the back and say, you made it through another day mama!”

Amber D.: “Omg, please ladies just support each other.  For the love of god STOP acting like we all parent the same, we as moms and dads KNOW what’s best for OUR children.  STOP JUDGING other moms/dads because they are doing something you don’t agree with.  Stop tearing each other down, support one another, high five one another.  Lord knows we as parents are all tired, cranky, in need of mass amounts of coffee and a 6 month spa stay with no kids!!!”

5. How has becoming a mom affected your relationships (friendships, marriages, etc.)?

Ashley: “Your relationships definitely change but it’s been for the better. The friends and family that have stuck around are your true friends and will be there for you. My husband and I are constantly working to keep on the same page and lend a hand as much as we can. Being a parent is tough but staying in communication about things is the best thing my hubby and I have done.”

Melissa: “Becoming a mom has taken up a lot of my free time. I don’t hang out with friends too often unless it’s a child play date. ”

Amber D.: “Friendships ummmm well, those faded pretty quick honestly.  I don’t see any of my old “close” friends anymore bc well they live at the gym or the bars soooo I’m not missing out.  However the friendships I’ve made since becoming a mom, have been amazing, couldn’t ask for better people in mine and my families life!”

6. Now that you know what it is like to be a mom, what is one thing you wish you could say to your mom?

Amber C.: “I would tell my mom that I am sorry for those teenage years. I would take them back in a heartbeat so she knew how much I appreciated all she did for me and continues to do for me.”

Ashley: “I feel your pain and sorry for the toddler years. My three year old is just like I was at her age and it’s not easy raising a determined and strong willed kid.”

Nicole: “Thank you for all the sacrifice. ”

Linsey: “Thank you for putting up with all my sh*t.” LOL”

(Another theme, start the I’m Sorry and Thank You cards now.)

7. What is the best way you’ve found to practice self love as a mom?

Melissa: “Make time for yourself. Make time to exercise, do your nails, whatever it maybe but find some alone time!”

Nicole: “Working out! This is my alone time & I am SO a better mom when I work out daily.”

Ashley: “Find the time to have a little bit of alone time (30 minutes makes a world of difference), working out and a once a week at home face mask to treat myself.”

8. What is one product or service you cannot live without and no other mom should either?

Amanda: “AMAZON!”

Nicole: “Dry shampoo & grocery delivery/pick up!”

Linsey: “The Owlet baby monitor. We aren’t using it as frequently any more, but I swear, without it, I wouldn’t have slept a wink the first year of my daughter’s life.”

Melissa: “BABYSITTERS + COFFEE”

9. What is your fondest memory of motherhood so far?

Michele: “Breastfeeding. I love having the ONE thing no one else that watches him, can have. That bond i have with him is so different. I’m sure it is still an amazing bond with anyone who formula feeds or even exclusively pumps. But for me, that is Liam & I’s time that no one else will have with him.”

Ashley: “When my toddler gets so excited to hold her little sister and her hugs and kisses.”

Nicole: “Oh my gosh… I don’t know if there is one memory that sticks out. I think its more of a feeling. Its that feeling of just looking at your child and being so overwhelmed with love and amazement of them. ”

10. I recently went to work and after about an hour of being at my office realized I had spit up on my shirt. My thought was “well it’s official, I’m such a mom.” Have you had one of these moments? Please share.

Amber D.: “I walked out of the house in slippers to go to his 4 month doctors appointment with, mismatching cloths, forgot my purse, packed the diaper bag but forgot diapers…. I was a total mess y’all, and I had spit up on my shirt along with my Tatas leaking (I forgot pads for those as well).”

Linsey: “Definitely when I realized it was easier for me to go places without my cell phone than it was my hand-held breast pump.”

Amanda: “Ha! I knew i was officially a mom when I caught spit up in my bare hand. It was a natural reaction and it didn’t even phase me. ”

Melissa: “I have locked myself out of the house AND the car with my daughter still inside. A very scary moment that I’m sure other mom’s would hate to admit but I’ve already done them both within 1.5 years LOL.”

11. What is one piece of advice you would give to new or expecting moms?

(Grab a notepad expecting mommas.)

Amber C.: “You do you! Honestly, don’t let other moms tell you how to be a mom. If you let your kid stay up past 7pm, so? If you give your kid an iPad so they will be quiet….do it. You bribe your kids with candy? And?? If that’s how you want to parent then so be it. Every mom is different. Some are patient, some are not and that’s okay! There is no wrong way as long as your child is healthy and taken care of!”

Ashley: “Slow down and enjoy every moment with your kids as you can! They really do grow up too fast!”

Amanda: “Give yourself grace. Don’t try to be perfect or compare yourself to other mamas. Just love your baby, love your hubby, love yourself and do what the Lord calls you to do when raising your family. It is a ministry being a mama, and you will feel stretched thin sometimes. But God will give you the strength to get through, one breath at a time!”

Nicole: “RELAX. Seriously, relax. You will fall in love with your child and know exactly what to do. In the times that you don’t know, your love will guide you and everything will work out to be fine.”

Linsey: “Nothing is going to go as planned, so just roll with it, and take everything day by day. ”

Melissa:”Grace. Give yourself some grace. This one was hard for me and I’m sure it’s gonna be a hard one for other new mom’s to do. I tried to do it ALL in the beginning and now I realize that it’s ok to not be supermom.”

Amber D.: “No matter how frustrated you get, it’s normal!! No matter how tired you are, it’ll pass.  One day it’ll be the last time you hold your baby, last time you rock them to sleep, last diaper, last bottle.  Embrace all the good and the bad, find positive in every situation, it will change faster then you think.    No parent is perfect so don’t try to be.  Just do your best and never give up.”

Michele: “Take progress pics of your belly! -Eat and drink LOTs of healthy snacks & water! (especially if you are going to try breastfeeding)
-Do not skip out on doing something for you. If that means working out, or listening to self help books. DO IT! -Sleep now. You wont regret it when the baby comes. -Prep plenty of freezer food for when you’re on maternity leave. You wont have time to make a real meal. Pop something in the oven and call it good. Also always have finger foods available. Your hands will be full of baby and you wont have much “down time”. -DO NOT HAVE GUESTS STAY THE NIGHT- the first week after baby is born. It may work for some, but i found it extremely overwhelming and it made me stress and break down every day. Have guests come and visit but not STAY.”

I reached out to a ton of moms thinking not many would get back to me or have the time to answer my questions. I grossly underestimated the new mom community that is always willing to help out another momma. Unfortunately, I was not able to include everyone’s answers (if I did, this blog post would be WAY too long). I went with “newer” moms for this specific post, but I will probably do a follow up post with the answers from moms of older children, so stay tuned! Thank you to everyone who responded to my requests! Here’s a little introduction to the moms that were included:

Melissa: a first time mom to Madeline, 17 months old, a full time Nutrition student and a part time Social Media Specialist (I have worked with her before and she is amazing, I mean, you’re reading my blog so she must have taught me something right?). Check her out on Insta @melissaklitchfield.

Amber D.: 31, has 2 step children, ages 16 and 13 and 1 Son, age 1. She is a certified personal trainer and ex fitness competitor but taking the time off to raise her son. If you want to watch her adorable family (and her son who has a pretty awesome name, by the way) and see a momma who keeps it real, check her out on Insta @ambergini_skelledunn.

Linsey: She is 29 and has 14-month-old daughter, Isla. She works part time at Lululemon and is home with her daughter the rest of the time. She refers to it as a “great gig.” This ball of positivity is very transparent in all things regarding mom life and fitness. Plus, she posts all her workout for those looking for some motivation or new ideas. Check her out on Insta @linsey.shepis.

Michele: I have followed this momma closely because our boys are close in age and she’s such a fun, sweet young lady! Michele has a 6 month old boy, Liam. She commutes 20 minutess to work and works 40+ hours a week as a secretary at a Real Estate agency. Watch her sweet little family and check her out for a much needed energy boost on her Insta @michelei_c.

Nicole: has a 15 month old son named Lincoln (the first of what she hopes is 4 or 5 kids!). She is a coffee-loving, motivating, beautiful momma that spreads positive vibes like no other. Check out her Insta @nicole.amstutz.

Ashley: a working momma of 2 beautiful girls. She somehow manages two kids, a toddler and an infant, a job, and the ability to share health and beauty tips with people like myself. Check out her Insta @healthy.living.with.ashley.

Amber C.: full time 2nd grade teacher. She has two children 3 years old and 2 months old. She is such a motivating person for anyone on a fitness journey and she openly shared her daily struggles, workouts, meals, etc. Follow her story on Insta @ambers_journey.

Amanda: This amazing woman is probably one of the strongest moms I have come across on social media. Her adorable little boy, Raphael, was in the NICU/hospital for 8 months! Her and her husband lived at the hospital that entire time! And yet, she is so positive, motivating, she radiates love and good energy and she is always willing to chat or give advice! Seriously, if you need any kind of motivation to keep going in your life, follow her on Insta @hopeful_healthy_fit_mama.

Thank you again to everyone who participated!

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