Why Are Moms So Mean to Each Other?

For those of you that haven’t read it yet, I did a post regarding my son’s flat spot (plagiocephaly). If you haven’t read it you can check it out here. The gist of it is that he had a minor flat spot; the doctor checked it out and monitored it over time; the doctor told us a helmet wasn’t necessary and it would get better with time because it was so minor; there were no other issues that came from the flat spot so it was deemed purely cosmetic; so we didn’t get him a helmet.

I posted this blog post in a Facebook group I was a part of for moms with children with plagiocephaly who are either deciding if they should get a helmet or already have one. I became a part of this group when my son’s flat spot first started becoming noticeable so I could get some knowledge on the subject.

I posted the link to the blog post with the caption “Here is why we chose not to helmet.” Then I signed off. I came back not even 5 minutes later and I had 40 comments! As I was replying to the comments, maybe 7 minutes after I originally posted it, my post was deleted and I was removed from the group. I wish I had time to screenshot these comments but here is what they contained.

I was told I am ignorant, stupid, vain, and a bad mom. I was told I am risking my child’s happiness. I was told I don’t belong here (meaning in the group). One mom told me she would pray for me. I was told my son would grow up to resent me when he couldn’t wear a bike helmet (which is not true, his head has already almost fully corrected itself). I was told my son is unlucky to have me as a mother. Someone even posted the Mean Girls meme “you can’t sit with us.”

Yea, nice gals.

It was the most insane thing I had ever seen. I had heard of mom shaming and mom guilting but never really experienced it until now. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Nowhere in my post was I bashing people who did decide to get a helmet. I was simply explaining our experience and why we chose not to. A choice, by the way, that was recommended by a medical doctor!

I will say one mom reached out to me after the post was deleted to tell me she thought I was being treated unfairly and she too had decided not to helmet her son and his head completely corrected itself on its own. She apologized for the behavior of the other moms and understood where I was coming from. I appreciated her taking the time to do that.

I just don’t understand how women can sit here and preach “don’t judge my parenting” and “moms helping moms”, etc. and then act like that just because it is a point of view maybe you don’t agree with. Practice what you preach, ladies. And let’s try to follow the old golden rule, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Bitches.

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